My Car Is Held Together With Parcel Tape & Other Updates From The Caribbean
I love my car. I love the bright blue paintwork, only slightly bubbling on the wheel arches because of sun damage. I love the comfy seats that seem to almost completely embody the term ‘fits like an old shoe’ but also ‘smells like one too’?
Even in its darkest, radiator-steaming and electronics not working, of moments I still love my car.
It is, however, without a shadow of a doubt, falling apart.
Yesterday I took a step back from the bumper to examine my handiwork and ponder this.
I was acting as if I cared about the looks of the bumper when it realty, the parcel tape keeping the car together was all too obvious.
My car is old and rusty and I should get a new(er) one for the sake of my safety and probably my wallet but, at this point in time, sometimes it feels too much like writing a book. I’m in the middle of something and, much like with a book, I have to see it to the end.
“We’ve come too far to just drive her into the sea!” I’ll mutter to myself as I examine yet another nail in the tyre tread by the side of the road secretly thinking about all the ways I really could just drive it into the ocean and walk away.
“At this point I’d lose more not running her!” I say as I kick the bumper back into place.
Am I correct? In a sense. Should I keep on with this farce? Probably not.
It seems funny to me that there are times when it’s okay to give up on something, and then other times where it’s not, and that these barriers are never obvious until we come up against them in our minds.
I will eventually have to say goodbye to my rust bucket — she leaks when it rains now, which is less than ideal. I do occasionally say goodbye to ideas and books too — there are moments when it suddenly becomes obviously that it’s time to stop and move on to something else.
And yet, for now, I won’t stop either.
Both my current WIP and my car are taped together with the strings of my heart — they’re more metaphysical than physical at this point.
And, with both of them, it feels important to see them through until the end.