WRITERS QUESTIONS ANSWERED #6: WHEN WRITERS ATTACK
Now, after that confession, it's time for another bought of me answering google autocomplete questions again. This time they are not so much questions as perhaps odd book titles located in the horror section of your local library but I will answer these statements nonetheless:
When writers use a different name It is because they are trying something out. Maybe they are trying out being a different kind of writer. Maybe they are trying out being on the run from an army of penguins all dressed in tweed suits. Maybe they are trying out being in a different family for a while just to see if anyone else's does that thing where on holidays they sacrifice tins of beans to the gods. Maybe they are trying out not being able to spell their own name. There are many reasons writers use different names! The main thing to realise is that their heart didn't get swapped out along with the vowels and consonants they replaced. When writers expose the dead One would hope they'd cover the dead up again, apologise for exposing them in the nude, and offer to stop summoning the dead at a moment's notice but it's really hard to tell in this day and age you know? Don't tell me summoning doesn't happen when writers are totes stuck and will literally try anything to get more words down. Don't tell me this doesn't happen. Don't tell me Astarael isn't occasionally rung in an emergency in an emergency setting where it's really nobody's fault don't worry about it let's just plug our ears, ring the bell, and hope we carry on breathing. Sometimes writer's block gets real, yo, and that's nobody's fault. When writers speak It sounds like a thousand bats attacking a thousand dolphins in the middle of the night with teeny tiny laser guns. Of course, you will only ever remember the noise as full of wit, and most importantly words, but that is because if you spend enough of your nights trawling the internet for information you eventually become an expert at convincing people what is coming out of your mouth is not a weird sound but a beautiful, cutting, and apropos speech. When writers attack They mostly don't. When they do they are immediately banished from the kingdom, and stripped of their titles and land. When writers attacked, they are frowned upon because it's easy, really easy, to get into arguments on the internet so it's not like attacking people with words is a particularly impressive feat. When writers attack they add fuel to the fire that book-haters, and word-fearers, stoke; and they confirm maybe an almost primal instinct to mistrust people who like to hide universal truths within made up worlds, and people, and lives. When writers attack this is not a good thing, and the writing community spend somber moments lamenting the decision by the one who is seen to represent many. When writers attack it's difficult because on the one hand creativity is this really personal thing and we all want to defend freedom but on the other, as a general rule, you should try not to suck on the internet or assume that because you have a platform that people must align with your beliefs because that's not cool. Also drama always just leads to more drama, you feel me?
What do you think when writers attack? I mostly mean, like, those times when people get into comment wars about reviews and it gets v.ugly v.fast and not, like, having an opinion because that is the first commandment of the internet and entirely sacred.