Aesir Legal; a new installment involving passports & elephants & drooling.

Onwards! Today it is time for more recounting of an adventure starring Amalia and Mia and Thor and Zombies and OTHER CAST! Wooohooo! We left our heroes in a little bit of a pickle; there was this zombie and vampire making the gross smoochings in the corner and Thor denying to house le zombies for their own protection and what a mess! And now! Let us dive once more into the midst of it as Amalia challenges her own besty Thunder God to a game of DO NOT BLINK. Feel free to comment, share, and enjoy. If nothing else, tell me of your last encounter with gods/zombies/vampires/amalia/myself I am sure it will be hilarious. Afterwards! Clicky here to see Amalia's continuation of the story! Uhm. TRUE STORY, that is. *SMILES* *SIPS TEA*


As the Thunder God shifts under Amalia’s stare, she throws in a particularly piercing eyebrow flick. Got to hand it to the girl, she knows how to outlast Thor with the eyes.I let hope worm its way into my damp and fraying heelys. I let it slid by the wheels and squeeze my ankles. It’s tickling my knees and dancing up my legs right as Adler the Vampire spoils the moment and goes all… Adler.

“Regardless of silly mead festivals,” she spits around her fangs, stepping forward to glower at Thor. If she notices the way her hair stands on end, charging as the air buzzes and the hall rumbles, she doesn’t show it. “We don’t need your charity. The world will end, Thunder Man, not through fire or ice or anything so stupid. It will end in blood. Don’t think for a moment I can’t tear you into a thousand shards right now, I refrain only out of respect for the house of…”

Typical Vampire, I sigh as I tune out Adler’s rant and pick at a hole in my top. They’re all swooshing and capes and dramatic statements. I never once met a blood sucker who didn’t think it appropriate to preface any violence with at least a ten minute speech on why this was going to be excellent fun. Now that think about it that may account for why vampire hunters wear ear muffs these days. Maybe I should invest in some.

“… black towers reaching beyond the clouds and blades that can slice through diamond! Mark my words house of Asgard! We shall neve-ahhhhhhhhhhh.”

It takes me a while to realise Adler is not going to finish her speech. She stumbles back, hopping againstTyler and clutching her mouth.

“My thongue... Forgoth the theeth,” she mumbles through a river of blood.

I feel bad that she’s injured, I really do, and it’s clear Tyler has no idea how to handle the situation beyond patting her hair and offering up his fraying cuff with a HELP ME, OH MY GOD I DON’T DO UNUSUAL BLOOD wince at me, but it is kind of lucky something shut Adler up.

“So, rooms!” I say turning to Baldur slightly with the kind of tone I use to coax zombies away from jam jars. Leaning forward I carefully wipe a little zombie slobber from his torso.

“Indeed,” Baldur tilts his head and bends away from my smile. I can’t blame him. I use this one to coax gargoyles down from trees, it’s a real stinker. “As I was saying, Ms Hayson, the bonds of friendship permit me-”

“They do nothing of the sort!” Thor snorts, sending sparks tumbling across the floor. A few of the zombies chase them only to be shocked and jitter onto the ground with delighted gurgles. “Baldur, Ms Hayson, may be an acquaintance of Amalia and as such quite welcome within the realms of this embassy however-”

“It’s Admiral, actually,” I snap and immediately bite my lip. Already I can see our plea going down the drain and yet I feel the need to interrupt.

“Pardon?” Thor arches a brow, his blue eyes swirling with the rage of a thousand storms.

“Um, never mind, ha.” I shrug. “Just, I was, uh, promoted to Admiral last spring. It’s on my passport and everything. Oh! You’ll be wanting to see that too I imagine? Duh! Of course!”

I slap my head, half out of exasperation and half because it stops me having to focus on Thor. Clicking my fingers I glance very deliberately around him, and say, “Guys! You know the drill! I.D. out! Quick smart! Adam they, um, might need help with, ah, locating them. I packed them somewhere between their colouring books and spare shoes but… you know…” I shrug, turning to Baldur, who in turn shrugs at Bragi.

“Here’s mine,” I say handing my passport before either can object. Bragi dangles it between his forefinger and thumb, squinting.

“Oh, right, sorry,” I say when they glance at me. “The photo-booth totally took me off guard. It said five seconds but I was counting mississippi-ly. Let me just…”

I smile, tilting my head to match the photo and widening my eyes in false shock. It’s amazing the things I can do with my face. There’s a rumble, the room turns to watch Thor do his best impression of stampeding elephants.

“If you could all direct your eyes to the corner,” Thor says quietly.

I don’t. Tyler doesn’t. Adam won’t, he’s sorting out passports. Besides, solidarity and all that. The only person who looks likely too is Bragi and I suspect that has something to do with earning brownie points. Amalia tries, I think, but it’s hard to peel your eyes away from a looming vampire girlfriend, especially a bleeding one.

Static crackles. The floor shakes.

“Now?” Thor asks in the same way somebody might ask you if you want to live. My eyes can’t move fast enough as I swallow. When my gaze settles, I don’t understand the fuss.

In between two ceremonial swords and an engraving of what I can only imagine to be a drinking contest, one of my zombies has got himself wedged. He’s perfectly happy about the turn of events though, his slobber drips off one of the blades and plops on the tiles as he licks the engraving.

“Now I know tend to get a little enthusiastic,” I say, “and there was that one time with the BBQ tongs, a pair of socks, and some glitter glue, in which I will admit I was totally falsifying data for my own benefit,” pausing I glance around the room, “but, seriously, that is classic zombie right there. I don’t see the problem.”

“I hear saliva works wonders on silver,” Adam chirps up. Thor snorts.

“You do see, Baldur,” Thor pinches his nose, “what sheer havoc these creatures are capable of? You cannot allow them to guest here. During our last interaction they seriously endangered Amalia’s life. Do not ask me to choose between zombies and Amalia for-”

“Actually,” Tyler’s voice rings through the hall as he steps forward. He straightens up, looking unusually confident. “I think you’ll find your Amalia is currently in debt to me.”

funAmy Hayward3 Comments